What does it mean to you?-when I say no.

I should be able to say,

‘No, I don’t love you.

Shouldn’t I ?

Photo captured by Meena Gurung

In a weak forlorn voice,

I say ‘No.

You don’t know but my ‘No does not have the,

strong,

well-fed,

fierce,

touch to it.

My ‘No does not have a spine to it,

and so it lacks a backbone that would make it visible,

and strong.

My ‘No and I,

both of us,

we crawl.

We try to drag each other ,

forward,

forward,

and forward.

But the cuts and bruises,

hurt,

all over our faces,

blisters,

all over our feet.

My ‘No crouches,

its hands,

arms,

and legs all together to hide from the world.

My feeble ‘No’s are always crowded with,

all the silly but’s and

if’s.

All the dangerous question marks,

and exclamations !!

I should be able to say,

‘No, I don’t love you.

Shouldn’t I ?

No,

I don’t .

I don’t love you.

love you,

I love you.

no,

no ?

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Hands-Of mine

I got my favorite things tattooed on it,

flowers that I often write about.

Wearing Bora Studio
Photo courtesy : Meena Gurung

These hands of mine with stubs of hair growing on it,

pours down yet another glass of whiskey.

Gently crushes down another cigarette

butt on my wooden table,

or at the side of my thighs.

So, often late at night I wonder.

What more can ‘these hands of mine ?

Rather than hurt myself ,

or the people I love.

I got my favorite things tattooed on it,

flowers that I often write about.

Books that take me all the way to

Pondicherry,

Pondicherry that makes me think think

and think even more than I usually do.

If only ‘these hands of mine had more power to it,

rather than just press the glass to my lips,

rather than just press the cigarette butt on

my thigh.

If only these hands had more power to hold,

yours into mine.

I would slip your fingers,

very gently into mine.

And so, there wouldn’t be any need for

silly,

painful,

sullen,

apologies.

You would forgive me and

I would do too,

so quickly ,

so easily.

But only if these hands had more power to it.